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December didn’t go well. There’s something about the grays and browns of winter that make cold loneliness come out in full color. Christmas was bought with illegal means and the gifts had no more value than the torn paper that had covered them. I never liked Christmas holidays anyway. It was just a time to drink and dream about how good things would be next spring.
Mid January found me looking through the newspaper for a job. The listing asked for eight men and eight women willing to travel, in an exciting and dynamic career opportunity. I filled out my application at the Holiday Inn. The Interview took place in room 116, around the corner on the back side. A beautiful young woman in her early twenties greeted me at the door. She asked me to have a seat. She told me her name, but it didn’t stick. She asked questions that were easily answered with a yes or no.
The smell of the room caught my attention. It had a warm inviting aroma, sort of like sitting in a peach orchard on a summer afternoon. Then there was this fairy tale princess sitting across from me. The black heels on her feet were made of smooth, supple leather, simple but elegant. The silk stockings that covered her legs were like transparent curtains, draping perfection. I was trapped, cornered and had no desire to escape. She asked, “Are you free to travel?’
We drove into Longview, Texas a couple of hours before sunset. The motel we stayed at was right off the interstate, in an industrial part of town. From the second floor, overlooking the parking lot, you could see the LoneStar Brewery. I shared a room with Gerard Lopez, Skip and a guy everyone referred to as Buster.
The previous week had been spent training with Gerard. Gerard was a top notch salesman. While out canvassing prospects, Gerard would wear his arm in a sling and walk with a limp. Gerard would explain that he had been hurt in a football accident and had to take a break from college. He was working to pay his next years tuition since he wouldn’t be on scholarship. Every morning he read the sports section in the newspaper. He knew everything there was to know about Texas football and would engage potential customers on the subject often. He had never really attended any college unless you count reform school. The scheme worked. Gerard could sell E-Z CLEAN concentrated non-ionic biodegradable cleaner to people that didn’t even have anything to clean, much less the $20 it cost. During the lean times, he’d use his arm sling to shoplift.
I didn’t have an affliction worked out , but I was starting to get hungry. We received $7.00a day plus a commission on our sales. It cost $1.50 to do your laundry, $2.00 for a pack of smokes, and that left $3.50 for breakfast. To survive, you had to sell, steal, or starve. My first day out solo, I sold one bottle of E-Z CLEAN. I made a $3.00 commission, but that went against the previous weeks draw. That night, I made a pledge that I would sell $200 worth of product the next day.
So, Mississippi’s made the news, again. Have you heard?
Itawamba County’s School Board has decided to cancel the local high school’s prom because one student, a lesbian, wanted to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend as her date.
Of course, the media is licking its chops, I’m sure, over this newest political deep-fried Panic Button. All the more so because it’s straight from the Heart of Dixie, also known as the Buckle of the Bible Belt. It was only a little more than a decade ago, wasn’t it?, when we were splayed across the nation’s newsrooms (again, the culprit being North Mississippi) over school prayer.
Today, it’s a gay girl and the threat of a prom. (Though, the more serious danger, to me, would be the fact that a high school gym would be filled to the rim with acne, teenagers, and a spiked punch bowl).
I’m a bit confused, to be honest, about all of it. And what I think it boils down to isn’t really politics. It’s personalities…and the fact that change is only OK when it’s already happened; in other words, become tradition.
I grew up straddling generations: mine versus U.L.’s, who tipped his hat to Tigi’s generation which started at the end of the 19th century. So, I’m well aware of the discrepancies between our two struggling cultures.
I’ve tried valiantly to marry these two competing frames of reference my entire life. I’ve tried to take what’s good about U.L.’s worldview and tie its thin thread of logic around the finger of my own, more liberal perspective.
Because I do not believe they are all that mutually exclusive. read more…
I really love buttons, especially really brightly colored vintage ones.
These are some of my buttons.
- Vintage Button Grab Bag from RoxyPop on Etsy
Vintage Sewing Buttons from Wikimedia Commons
Vintage Buttons from Betty Jo Designs on Flickr
Collection of Buttons from Lainey's Repertoire on Flickr
Thrift Store Buttons from Jane's Apron
Buttons from Inside A Black Apple via A Giver's Log
Drinking It All is a document of my attempt to try every beer in circulation. It’s a Herculean and tragic attempt at best. But it’s the means, not the end that counts here.
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it's exactly what it looks like
I really thought it might be fun to try some of these cheap beers and post about them since you probably won’t read about them in any serious beer publication, internet or otherwise. But I’m about ready to post about some good beers–and I’ve got plenty saved up. But before I’m done with the cheap beers, I’ve got two more to cover. And they’re serious cheap beers.
We’ll start with Natural Ice. Yes. You read it right. Natural fucking Ice. A/k/a Natty Ice.
It’s hard for me to say who this beer is marketed towards and/or who actually buys it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone drinking it–much less buying it. But despite all logic and reason, this beer exists.
Quickly, I’ll cover the taste. To be honest, it tastes about like Beast, but with more sourness. This is not a good thing. Remember how I said Beast wasn’t quite as bad as it’s made out to be (http://typedslowly.com/2010/03/03/drinking-it-all-12-milwaukees-best-tallboy/)? That was me being fairly generous. Natty Ice tastes worse than Beast. So, bad.
Now let’s look at the packaging. The can’s label/design looks like it was put together by a 13 year-old boy who’s into cars with lots of chrome accessories. Also, imagine said design was printed out on a printer from the early 90’s–fuzzy dots covering everything. Enticing? That’s the kind economical design that speaks to the product’s ultimate purpose.
I’ve pointed out the bylines on some of the other cheap beers, so I’ll call attention to Natty Ice’s as well. “Ice brewed for a naturally smooth taste,” says the label in a substantially smaller font than the “5.9% alc./vol” that appears just below (priorities). I do not pretend to know everything about making beer; I know barely more than someone who knows nothing about the process. But. I’ll be damned if something called “ice brew[ing]” doesn’t sound like a big stinkin’ pile of bullshit. And I bet against the probability that there has ever been a person standing in a curb store trying to decide between Natty Ice and anything who notices said byline and figures what he/she really needs is a beer that was “ice brewed.” Could be wrong, but it definitely doesn’t sell it for me.
Not a good beer. Pick something else. I drank it so you don’t have to.
Thumbs up or thumbs down? Down. See above.
Apricot Mango Eye Cream, by Skin
Ingredients- Apricot kernel oil, Jojoba oil, macadamia nut oil, mango butter , olive oil, vitamin E oil, vegetable emulsifying wax, distilled water, glycerin, grapefruit seed oil. (The first five ingredients are certified organic, and I love that there are so few ingredients in this product.)
Product Description (provided at Carenonline.com, where I ordered this stuff)- “For those who want a truly natural, organic eye cream, free of fragrance, harmful chemicals and even essential oils, this is it! This is a rich, fabulous eye cream that even the most sensitive will find gentle and easy to use. It has Apricot kernel oil for the sensitive skin around the eye area to smooth and regenerate, jojoba oil for exceptional absorption, mango butter to help heal, protect, aid in wrinkle reduction, and to soften the skin, and macadamia nut oil to moisturize and help protect the skin. This eye cream goes on creamy but not greasy, yet continues to moisturize the skin around your eye area all day. Light enough to use during the day under your make-up but rich enough to use as a night cream.”
Price- $24.95 for 1 ounce, and 1 ounce may not seem like a lot, but since it’s only meant for the very tiny patch of skin underneath the eye..this stuff is gonna last forever.
Performance- This cream is ideal for using right before bed. I used it in the morning as well, but it tends to make my eyeliner not stay on as well as it normally does. Overall, I’m into it. Since I’m only twenty and don’t actually need eye cream yet, I don’t have much to say about its effect on fine lines. I’m really just using it as a preventative measure.
Scent- I expected this to smell really fruity because of the name, but it actually has a really delicate milky/floral scent that can only be detected when first applied.
Rating- This eye cream deserves at least an eight. Two points were deducted since it makes my eyeliner kinda smudgy.
Boar Bristle Hair Brush
I cannot say enough positive things about the boar bristle hair brush that I recently purchased. It makes my hair shiny, soft, and waaay more manageable. Honestly, I did not expect to see much of an improvement in my hair, but I was pleasantly surprised. Every review that I read before purchasing one said that it evenly redistributes the oils in your hair (from the scalp to the ends, where it’s needed to prevent and repair split ends), but I was still skeptical until I tried it. It has actually improved the overall texture of my hair. Also, it was in the neighborhood of eight dollars. Success!!
BUT:
If your hair is super fine or super thick, then steer clear of this product. Fine hair tends to fly in several different directions when brushed with a boar bristle brush, and thick hair may have tangles that a boar bristle brush can not easily conquer. I have normal hair, so it works like a charm form me.
In one of my flippant, wine-accompanied, philosophical moments, the other night, I found myself saying, “Well, if it’s possible, it’s necessary.”
It just fell out. You know, I was standing around, my mouth was open, and then, Boom. There it was, a whole sentence, a sentiment of ontological bent, floating around the room.
Now, I usually say things for two reasons: Either I like the way it sounds (which is a sort of philosophy in and of itself), or I’m not aware of what I’m saying (which is more often the case).
Of course, far be it from me to retract a statement. Unless it’s slander or the like. No, I’d much rather pretend I meant I knew what I was saying and argue you down. It’s part-hobby, part-the-way-I-am. It’s also how I learn.
Because if I pace myself, and you know as well as I do that Argument is a finely-drawn art, I can find my way out by digging my way further in. In other words, I find some half-baked flaw in my own self-designed debate and make a remark a la “Didn’t I say that?”
To which the response is, No, I don’t think you said that.
And then, I’m pretty sure I did, why I was say anything else? That doesn’t make any sense.
If the wine has been forgiving, so will the other person, and before you can ask for the rest of the bottle, the whole point has been forgotten, or has been turned into a “teachable moment.” read more…
I am taking an online business class and I am really stoked about it. Indie Business 2.o focuses on “Starting, Surviving and Succeeding in small business.” Our class is taught by Leigh-Ann of Freckled Nest, Elsie of Red Velvet Art and Jill of Lune Vintage.
In order to get to know the other students in the class, one of the students suggested in our class forum to post a 5 things list. I agree with her.
5 Things I am looking forward to:
- Planting my vegetable garden
- Growing old with my husband
- The next project in Indie Biz
- My trip to Atlanta this weekend
- Having children
5 Things I did yesterday:
- I went to a Garden Expo with my husband.
- I potted the new plants we bought and re-potted my airplane plant.
- I worked on a journal/planner that I am making for myself.
- I brainstormed ideas for my first Indie Biz assignment.
- I snuggled on the couch with my husband and watched the Oscars.
5 Things I wish I could do:
- I wish I could spend my days crafting instead of working.
- I wish I could be sitting on the beach on Tybee Island right now.
- I wish I could understand what is happening on Lost.
- I wish I could adopt every stray animal that comes near my house.
- I wish I could play an instrument well.
5 Places I’d like to travel to:
- The Grand Canyon
- Niagara Falls
- Italy
- Alaska
- The Galapagos Islands
Living in the city limits, I cannot raise my own chickens, so this place is perfect for that. I ordered one whole chicken and a dozen eggs. Both were fantastic! If you haven’t had farm-fresh eggs, then you simply must find the nearest person who has laying hens and ask for some. They are wonderful. Or contact Boardtown Organics if you’re in the area, only $2.50/dozen. That’s a good dollar cheaper than “free-range” varieties at Kroger. And so much better, I might add. Orangey center that doesn’t run all over the place when you break the egg in the skillet.
We should have weighed it, but we didn’t. Suffice to say that the chicken was huge. It fed my husband and me for over a week. We grilled the legs, wings, and thighs. Pan fried one-half of the breast (which fed us both) and topped it with olives. Halved the other half of the breast and used one half to top a salad and the other half to make chicken fried rice. Of course we had leftovers, and those were mostly mixed together for sandwiches, salad, etc. We also made chicken stock for the first time by using the bones and meat that clings to the bones. Considering the entire chicken only cost $10, we ate some pretty cheap meals, and all were absolutely delicious. I have read that truly free-range, happy chickens (I think this makes them happy) that are allowed to roam about and eat bugs taste more “chickenier,” and I can now say that I agree. May sound crazy, but, somehow, I could taste the chicken more. It didn’t just taste like whatever I seasoned it with. It tasted like chicken.
Their Web site advertises a CSA (community supported agriculture) effort this year, but I plan to grow pretty much all I’ll need on my own. As for chicken, they are almost out of the last batch processed, but I’m told they should have more ready in May.
This is in the biggest bowl we own.
Take a look at that half a breast. Huge. I know.
Drinking It All is a document of my attempt to try every beer in circulation. It’s a Herculean and tragic attempt at best. But it’s the means, not the end that counts here.
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look out, this beer's in a "specially lined can"
The next stop in cheap beer land is Keystone Light. This beer is Coors Light’s little cousin, just as Beast is Miller Lite’s little cousin. The fact that I’m not a drinker of Coors Light, or really any Coors product, should make this review fairly objective (or that’s what we’ll say).
There’s a label on this beer’s can that claims it’s “Always Smooth.” These two words are trademarked as well, so just imagine I put the small capital TM after Always Smooth. This post is in no way an attempt to usurp Coors’ trademark of “Always Smooth.” Ok. We’ll just say they’ve taken some creative liberties with the word smooth. Interested yet?
Keystone Light is, admittedly, a beer I’ve had a fair amount of times prior to the one I’m drinking right now. I’ve been to frat parties, and I’ve also been to establishments that serve cheap beer from Coors taps when said taps’ lines run back to Keystone kegs. (This is only heresay/conjecture. Take it as you like.) However, the 4-pack of Keystone Light that I bought for this post is the first I’ve actually purchased Keystone in longer than I can remember (we’ll say at least 6 years, possibly more).
So how does it taste? It tastes about like you’d think. (Excuse the rhetorical ?’s.) I can’t think of a beverage that exemplifies the term watery more so than this beer. Please remember some of the ways I’ve described beers in previous posts, or go back and read some if you haven’t already, and now understand that basically none of those terms apply to this beer, Keystone Light. This beer tastes about like someone made a sun-tea with regular beer ingredients then added alcohol. But somehow it’s also sour. So sour water that tastes mildly like beer. But it has alcohol.
This is a party beer, plain and simple. Not something to be had in any situation where drinking a case of beer in one sitting isn’t a medal of honor (sorry about the double negatives–I think it makes more sense though).
Also, this beer boasts an interesting byline: Specially Lined Can. I’m no metallurgist, but this beer tastes like the can could have been lined, specially, with tepid water. Or less-than-mediocrity. Whichever’s funnier, you tell me. It’s a shitty beer.
Thumbs up of thumbs down? Down. You could specially line the can with gold and I wouldn’t buy this beer (again)–at least not to drink.
